Mapala (son in law)

Mapala is a very important concept in Tamil Brahmin families (or just Arvind’s family??). Mapala is a Tamil word for son in law. Son in laws are treated extremely well in families here. It seems like Mapala comes first and then father, mother, etc… in terms of priority given within a family. It also feels like people go out of their way to make sure Mapalas are happy. I do not the reason why this is the case, but maybe in a way, they are still the ‘guests’ of the house and not truly a part of the family. Just like guests are treated with more care then family members, Mapalas are also treated in a similar way. Unfortunately, I cannot think of a concrete example from the top of my head, but it is definitely the case. One example (not a very good example but oh well…, I can’t seem to come up with any now) may be something that happened just now. Arvind’s father was looking for yesterday’s newspaper. (Note: He just LOVES newspapers and cannot go without reading the newspaper even for a day. If he goes on a trip and cannot read during that time, after he comes back from the trip, he will go through all the papers that he missed reading even if the news is not ‘news’ anymore. Moreover, he keeps all the newspapers without recycling them. He has stacks and stacks of old papers from years ago…. or so I heard.) He asked me where it was and I had no clue. I just told him your Mapala was reading it yesterday and I don’t know where he put it after that. He eventually found it in one of the rooms and told me, “Oh well, what to do?? Mapala was reading it in the room,” and that was the end of the story. A few weeks ago, the same thing happened and although I don’t remember clearly, I must have said something like I saw Arvind reading it. Arvind’s father was a bit upset saying, “Where is it?? He always takes it somewhere and does not return it properly, etc, etc…” Yes, Arvind’s father is definitely one of a kind (very different!), but maybe this difference in the reaction came from this whole Mapala concept, who knows. Just as a footnote, often times, they are not even called by their names, but called as ‘Mapala’, just like all the respected people are called not by their names but by their position in the family like, mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, etc.